you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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