I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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