I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
