Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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