have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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