At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I look better un-naked...
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Randomize
