This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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