Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
