I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
