2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
