I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Will you blow on my dice?
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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