There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
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