we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
don't judge my taste in strippers
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
