some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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