"it" just moved
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Randomize
