they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
