I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
She told me I should be a condom model.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Randomize
