So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Please don't give away my fajitas
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
