Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Will you blow on my dice?
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
