I hate your face
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
