I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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