i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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