If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
