she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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