You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
