True but thats because hes a fetus.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
