guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
