We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
