her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
