He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize