I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Help. Why am I so naked?
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