weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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