im gay
i know
yea but for you.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
