You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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