you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
