I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I need moral support for this bender
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
