I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
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Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
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That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
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