My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
