I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
