I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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