Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
