she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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