The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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