I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Randomize