can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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