In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
