If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
