Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
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Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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