wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
