Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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