do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
