Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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