He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
