I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
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