he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
