I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize