you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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