come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
