Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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