I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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