yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
