I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Randomize
