So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
