it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
organizing the empties. That sober.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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